Retroactive Jealousy & Feeling Entitled!

Retroactive Jealousy: Are you indirectly manipulating your partner?

What I mean by this is: Are you trying to get your partner to view their past the way that you view it? 

If you find yourself wanting your partner to feel incredibly shameful and regretful about them being with other people in the past you are not alone. 

In fact, I had never thought of it this way until the subject came up with one of my clients. 

He wanted his girlfriend to view her past the way that HE viewed it. To feel and think that engaging in casual relationships is a terrible thing. But she did not. She was happy to be in a monogamous serious relationship but did not think engaging in hookups was terrible or wrong.

Not all Retroactive Jealousy sufferers do this to their significant other but it is common. 

There can even be a sense of self entitlement over telling your partner what to think and how they feel about what they did. 

“They must view it my way otherwise I can not trust them.”

“They must tell me they hate their ex, otherwise they don’t really love me.”

“They must feel ashamed of engaging in casual relationships otherwise I can’t trust them and they are unworthy of me.” 

These are some of the thoughts that most (not all) Retroactive Jealousy sufferers may have encountered and it is important to address them because the truth is you and your partner do NOT have to have the exact same opinions on every single little thing. 

Of course having similar morals and values TODAY as well as agreeing on what you want for your future together is important. 

Watch the video above if you want to stop indirectly manipulating your partner.