Retroactive Jealousy: Should I be worried about their long term ex?

Retroactive Jealousy: Should I be worried about their long term ex?

Sometimes, we might find our partner still has a relationship with their ex. Either because they have children together or they are a family friend, etc. 

If this is the case for you I would urge you to ask yourself if you feel your partner prioritises that relationship over your own today.

Do you feel unimportant or like a second choice to them? Have they given you a reason to believe their ex is a threat?

If they have not then it is likely the retroactive jealousy may stem from your own insecurities or fears. 

From working with many clients, the number one thing I witness retroactive jealousy sufferers do, when bothered by an ex, is compare themselves. 

This could be because you were taught to measure your worth based on comparison. Believing that being “better than” someone else is what needs to happen in order for you to be special.

The second reason I believe people struggle with this is unconscious limiting beliefs they have adopted about themselves. This can happen mainly in our childhood and early adolescence. 

We are born knowing we are enough just the way we are.

However, a series of negative events or situations in our early years can lead us to doubt that. 

The problem here is that if you do not believe you are a good partner, special enough, good enough or lovable enough you will definitely not be able to accept and let in your partner's reassurance when they give it to you. 

You could be with someone who thinks the world of you but your fears and insecurities just keep trying to sabotage the relationship in the name of Retroactive Jealousy. 

Watch the video above for more information! :)