3 Signs Your Partner Is Causing Or Contributing To Your Retroactive Jealousy.

A lot of content out there focuses on the Retroactive Jealousy sufferer themselves. 

We talk about not letting the past affect you, not interrogating your partner, not allowing your insecurities to get in the way of the relationship, etc. 

Although this is all true, it is important to mention that there ARE some instances where the partner does contribute and in some cases can even cause the Retroactive Jealousy altogether. 

Here are 3 different scenarios in which your partner could also be at fault for how you view their past. 

1. They lied

Now, to make this clear, I am not referring to the times your partner lied because they were afraid they were going to trigger you/afraid of your reaction. This is something that is understandable. No one want’s to be judged and shamed by the person they love, because of their past.

However, if your partner lied, painted a different picture of themselves and hid things from you since the beginning of the relationship, without even knowing you had Retroactive Jealousy then it is understandable to feel uncomfortable by their past. 

You trusted and got into a relationship with the person you thought they were. Now, you have found out the truth and feel anxious/judgmental/upset about their past. 

2. They did something illegal

This again depends on your situation specifically but if your partner has taken advantage of a minor, assaulted someone or committed a crime, you have a problem with this because they did something that is legally and fundamentally wrong. Not because you have insecurities that are being projected on to the matter.

Keep in mind the person they are today. What are their values and beliefs? Are they working to align theirs with yours?

3. They don’t make you feel loved and cared for

Your partner is arguing with you and saying things like “it’s your problem to deal with, not mine” instead of “we will figure this out together.” They are refusing to put you and the relationship above others for example, unfollowing people on social media at your request, reducing contact with an ex partner if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Their words are not aligning with their actions i.e. they make promises and are consistently breaking them giving you the feeling that they are unreliable.

It is still possible to overcome any issues a relationship is presented with as long as you are both consistently committed to resolving conflict. Healthy communication is key to this but you must have a deeper understanding of your own insecurities and needs in order to do so.

Please watch the video above for more details. 

Thank you for reading:)