3 Tips To Help You Overcome Retroactive Jealousy.

3 Tips To Help You Overcome Retroactive Jealousy.

After helping people overcome Retroactive Jealousy and having been through it myself, I  wanted to share 3 tips to help you if you are currently struggling. 

People make these mistakes while trying to overcome Retroactive Jealousy most of the time without even realising. 

Here are the 3 top things to avoid if you are currently trying to heal and get rid of intrusive thoughts and mental movies regarding your partner's past.

1. Avoid making Retroactive Jealousy into your identity. 

Retroactive Jealousy is not very well known. This means that the sufferer will likely go months or even years not knowing that there is an actual term for what they are going through and that other people also suffer with the same thoughts and feelings. 

Once you find out what “Retroactive Jealousy” is, and the symptoms that come with it, it is only normal for you to feel relief. All this time you felt like you were going crazy, no one could understand you, including yourself at times.

Although it is great to educate yourself and talk to other people who understand you, be careful not to get stuck there.

There are so many forums, Reddit groups and Facebook groups regarding Retroactive Jealousy where the majority of the time, people talk about what they are triggered by. Stories about their partner's past or even worse, asking people with the same condition as them what they think about their partner’s past.

This can become unhealthy because instead of focusing on how to overcome Retroactive Jealousy, you are interacting with and taking advice from people that may not have the best advice out there to suit you. If they did they would not still be engaging in the mentioned groups to this day.

2. The past is not inherently a problem

This one might be a bit difficult to accept at first. Your partner's past is not inherently a problem.

Yes, you can judge them, you can have an opinion on it, you can label it as wrong if you choose.. 

At the end of the day, opinions are just opinions. They are a projection of someone's upbringing, unconscious beliefs, experiences, religion, culture and conclusions, onto a situation that simply just is (or rather WAS). 

You and everyone else is allowed to have an opinion, however opinions are not facts. 

Once you realise this, you can begin to explore what you may be projecting on to your partners past that is causing all the negative emotions which lead to Retroactive Jealousy in the first place.

3. You are not your thoughts
You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness behind your thoughts.

Why is this relevant?

Because when you realise this, you also understand just how much power you have. 

Once you realise that the meaning you have attached to a thought, automatically causes an emotional reaction in the body which then determines the strength and frequency of the thoughts coming up for you, you will be free of Retroactive Jealousy forever. 

Imagine there is a little version of YOU inside your head that watches your thoughts as they come and go. You can choose to interact with them or not. It is ultimately a choice you will always have. 

You have the power of choice. Which is actually a wonderful thing when you realise that.

Thank you for reading:)

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